The Nervous Giggle

1. Kevin (Bad Ass)
2. Stephanie
3. Jennie
4. David
5. Rachel
6. Crystal
7. Kathy
8. Elizabeth
9. Dana
10. Julie
11. Ashley
12. Rebekah
13. Kevin (Hamster)
14. Jason (had to go back to the first blog I had to get #14)
15. J (had to go even further back!)

Have you ever kissed 4?  No.
What’s the best memory you have of 10?  Oh, I don’t just have one. I mean, we have been friends for 20 years! There was a time in Germany that is infamous. It involved Julie and myself, some poor girl that we barely knew, a stubborn toilet, a hanger, and a plastic baggie. We laughed a lot. Even though it was one of my disgusting moments, it was also one that I will never forget and will forever love Julie for.
Why are you friends with 9?  Lots of reasons. She is genuine, loyal, funny, optimistic, happy, and I could go on and on. I always look forward to spending time with her. We always have a good time. And she is ALWAYS there for me. She is the very epitome of what a friend should be.
When’s the next time you’re gonna see 6?  Well, I just saw her last night so I think it will be April 1st next!
Tell something juicy about number 15:  Juicy! Hmmmmm. I don’t really have too much dirt on J. I don’t know if this qualifies as “juicy” but J called me at work one day and told me he was thinking about asking Jennie out and wanted to know what I thought. Of course I was giddy with excitement. I hadn’t discussed the subject of J yet with Jennie so I didn’t really know for sure if she was interested but I felt confident that she would say yes. Jason and I had been working so hard to throw them in any and all situations together so they could talk and get to know each other. I was thrilled beyond belief!
What do you like about 8?  She is a very sweet person. She is a feeler not a thinker and I like that about her. She has always been a fun person to be around.
Is number 1 attractive?  Yes. (Okay, Bad Ass, quit bowing out your chest now.)
What was your first impression of 7?  She’s gonna love this. I didn’t know what to think about her at first. I thought she was really pretty but she confused me with her sarcasm. I remember been leary of her at first. I know it sounds awful but I am just being honest. Besides, she knows how very much I love and adore her now!
How did you meet 3?  We had Ms. Qualls’ 3rd grade class together. I don’t remember a lot from that year other than I despised my teacher and Jennie loved her. I don’t know how we overcame that!!! We have been friends ever since.
Do you think 13 could kill someone?  Hmmmm. I don’t think so but he is a passionate person. Maybe if you hurt someone he loves, he would.
Is 11 your best friend?  No, but at one time we were extremely close. I haven’t seen Ashley since we graduated high school. She couldn’t come to the reunion b/c she lives halfway around the world now. We did a lot of silly stuff together in high school. I have a lot of good memories with her in them.
Do you think 2 has a crush on you?  I would go out on a limb and say “no”.
Who do you spend the most time with?  #14 of course. Then probably: #3, #7, #9. #4, and #15.
What is the last thing you did with #1?  We ate dinner together last night!
Have you ever been to 3’s house?  Oh heavens! I practically grew up at her house in Batesville and I’m a regular at the current digs.
Would you ever kiss 5?  Probably not seeing that I have haven’t even met her!
How do you know 4?  I’ve known #4 for almost 9 years now. He is one of my husband’s best friends.
Have you ever slept with 5?  Again, we have never met.
Do you think 6 is sexy?  Dead Sexy! She is incredibly beautiful. You should see her flawless skin and blinding white teeth! It is amazing!
Have you ever liked 7?  since #7 is female I am not going to answer.
Where is the last place you went with 8?  I was trying to think of the last place I “went” some place with this person… We went to visit Jennie and Julie’s parents together during the reunion weekend.
Are you real close to 9?  Yes.
What kind of relationship do you have with 10?  #10 is the kind of friend that you can go months without speaking to and then you can just pick right back up where you left off. #10 and I will always been friends no matter how much physical distance is between us.
Have you ever kissed 11?  Not that I can recall.
Have you ever been to the movies with 12?  That is a good question. Not that I can remember but it isn’t impossible. Hey, #12, can you think of a time that we might have gone to a movie together?
Have you ever gotten in trouble with 13?  Not that I can remember.
Would you ever make a move on 14?  MOST DEFINITELY!
What do you and 15 talk about the most?  Hmmmm. I can’t think of anything that we discuss over and over again. Mostly just general stuff (work, life, movies, music, food).  

Dresses: Did you notice how many woman were wearing flesh colored dresses? Is that the “color” this season? I thought it was a little weird. However, I thought that pretty much every woman looked really nice with the exception of two…Lilly Tomlin-I think she got her outfit at Sears, seriously and Charlize Theron-the dress was pretty but that bow on her left shoulder was the most absurd thing I have seen since the corsage Jennie was given to wear to Homecoming our Junior year.

Funnies: Surprisingly, this year’s Oscars were fairly entertaining. I love John Stewart and almost everything he said was funny. I was a little sad that a lot of his jokes didn’t even get chuckles out of the stiff audience. I don’t know if the jokes flew over their heads or if they just didn’t think they were funny. My two favorite “funnies” were Ben Stiller’s presentation for visual effects and Will Farrel & the guy from “The Office”’s presentation of make-up. Ben cracked me up in the green unitard. I was really laughing. I also really enjoyed the “political” commercials that they made up for the actresses. Pretty clever.

Songs: This is usually my least favorite part of the show. I hadn’t heard of any of the songs. The first performance was by Dolly Parton for a song in TransAmerica. She kills me. Her boobs are incredible and not in a good way. You know what she reminded me of…that little yellow animated guy that did commercials for cheese on Saturday mornings between cartoons. You know…”hankering for a hunk of cheese.” I think it was the shoes and the suit she was wearing. I was so distracted. The second one was by some chick that no one has ever heard of singing a song from the movie Crash. I was unimpressed. The third was from the movie Hustle & Flow. It was called It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp. Again, I was unimpressed. The Pimp song won and the rappers were incredibly excited. What would have made the performance better would to have had shots of the audience during the performance. I sure some would have been stroking their beard really taking it all in. While others would have looked horror stricken. I was begging for some shots and they really failed me this time!

I was very excited that Wallace & Grommit won for best animated film. I love Nick Parks.

Okay, was anyone as nervous as I was when Lauren Bacall was talking. I just wanted it to end. I don’t know if she was nervous or has Parkinson’s or what. I thought she was going to collapse or something. I just looked up her age and she is 81! Holy Crap!

Terrence Howard is pretty. Enough said.

March of the Penguins: Okay, the French men that did the film were too cute. Did you see them up there with their stuffed penguins?!

Jessica Alba: Um, is she like a size -2 or what? I have never seen anything like it. It is sickening.

Jennifer Garner: Also sickening. She still has the HUGE baby boobs but her waist is down to a size 4 again. I was slightly amused when she almost bit it on the way to the microphone. She recovered with lots of grace and poise and really ruined the almost messy moment for me. Dang her poise!

Hillary Swank: Her “teeth band” drives me nuts. It is so prominent and perfect.

Uma Thurman: I don’t normally think she is that pretty but tonight she surely was. She, too, was wearing a flesh colored dress.

CRASH: I was so happy that this film won for Best Picture. It was certainly a great film and I think it deserved to win.

And finally…Michelle Williams. Um, is it weird that she presents herself in sort of a regal way? She is very stiff and serious. I still CANNOT BELIEVE that she was nominated in the best supporting actress category. I guess that is not entirely fair since I haven’t seen the movie. Anyway, she is so serious. I mean, no one knows who she is except for her “work” on Dawson’s Creek. Get over yourself!

So they were pretty boring but here are my highlights…

1. Madonna’s body rocks…holy cow. How old is she?
2. 26 performances…I mean, is that really necessary?!
3. Did you see Nicole Kidman’s face after Kelly Clarkson accepted her first award? She was so annoyed with her. I loved it.
4. Coldplay’s performance… Gwenyth Paltrow is to Chris Martin as Yoko Ono was to John Lennon. In other words…I liked him better when he was depressed and alone. His new hair is a plus though.
5. Ahhh, the part I was waiting for…U2. Too bad that “One” had to be ruined by Mary J. Blige’s hollering. I just wanted it to stop! It was very upsetting to me. No one should sing U2 except U2 and maybe Johnny Cash.
6. Kanye’s first acceptance speech. I was kinda annoyed by the “thank you list”…just not funny from a man who’s ego is the size of Texas. However, I forgave him quickly when he thanked U2 for taking him on tour this past year. Right on!
7. Commercials…I LOVE the AMEX commercial with Kate Winslet. I don’t really care for her as an actress but I think the commercial is awesome. The music is great and I love what she says in it. I also enjoy the new Diet Dr. Pepper commercials. It makes me want to drink one b/c it compares Diet D.P. to candy. Yum.
8. Gwen Stefani…very cute el prego!
9. Paul McCartney said that it was his first Grammy performance. What?! Is that true. Weird.
10. Mariah…did you check out who was playing keyboard and bass for her. That’s right, folks, Mr. Randy Jackson. Man, he loves him some Mariah. Also, I wonder if she could still hit those high notes if her hands were tied behind her back. Hmmmmmmm.
11. Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble! I freakin’ love his last name!
12. Kelly Clarkson, again. Let me pose this question. Do you think that those artists that have been playing for years and years out in the audience have any respect for her at all?! I mean, I think she is a good singer but I bet they just hate her. Especially when she acts so silly when she speaks.
13. What the hell was that singing with Fantasia?! Yikes! Flock of seagulls hair, scary arm tats, and a funky ass vest.
14. Was I on acid or was there a hunched-back black man with a blonde mowhawk on stage! Holy crap. In general I never care for the performances with all the artists on stage. It never works right…(with the exception of “We Are The World”, of course).
15. I wish I could dress like Joss Stone and be as cool as she is.
16. The Kanye spectacle rocked…well, most of it anyway.
17. And, of course, U2 won for best album. I had just finished commenting to Jason that Larry NEVER says anything at awards shows and then he steps up to the mic and they cut him off!!! Finally Larry had something to say and now we will never know what it was! Very disappointing.

And through the magic of TiVo I bring you my thoughts on A.I.
1. I love the Cowboy…I mean, how cute is he?! Okay, he is not a very good singer but he is too sweet and he is just so darn excited to see the “world”. I just love him!
2. VERY disappointed with the Brightnum (or however you spell their names) twins. Why in the crap were they complaining WHEN THEY MADE IT THROUGH. I cannot stand egos like that. They are not on my good list anymore. (I know they will be very upset to hear this.)
3. I LOVE PARIS. She is definitely going to go all the way to the final 3! That is my prediction folks.

I love TiVo. What did I do without it?!
I also managed to squeeze in Project Runway. Love the show.
Very disappointed in Daniel’s design. He and Chloe are my favorites. What was he thinking?!

What can be said about Bad Ass that accurately describes him? Well, he is one of a kind.

I met him in 1992 in art class. It was a class of 33 (28 guys and 5 girls). It was a nightmare for me. I was shy and genuinely interested in art and the class wasn’t good for either of these things. All the guys were loud and a lot of them were preppy jocks. Two of the girls would sit in different boys’ laps throughout the class and giggle hysterically every chance they got. Our art teacher was VERY interesting. I liked her personality and I liked the art SHE did but she was not a good art teacher. Anyway, I digress. I picked a spot in the backish corner of the room to sit. Kevin decided he would sit next to me…every day. At the time I really believed that he lived to torture me. He would tell me about his recent porn movie he watched (he doesn’t remember this today) or grill me with questions. Occasionally he would do something pretty funny. You see our art teacher was a bit of a pothead, I do believe, and she would forget things. Like when we actually cracked open the art book she would have us turn to page 57 and do the exercise or whatever it was. After the 2nd or 3rd time she sent us to page 57 it was getting weird. So whenever it was time to do something, Kevin would pipe up and say, “Do you want us to turn to page 57?” And then she would immediately send him to the principal’s office. Okay, it is a lot funnier if you were there. After that year he started dating my friend, Ashley, that I had known forever. I was skeptical at first. I worried about her. Then things got serious and they got married. He seem to have transformed from when I had had class with him in 10th grade. I wasn’t worried anymore. I was happy for them both.

Skip ahead 10 years and it comes time to have our 10 year high school reunion. Ashley and Kevin live in Little Rock and had for years. Several others Batesvillians lived in LR too. We decided it was ridiculous that we all lived in the same town but never got together. We went to the reunion in September. The night before the “official” reunion began, we all went out to the Farm. Julie (our class president) was giving everyone name tags so that we would know who everyone was. 3 or 4 beers into it and the tags were becoming nicknames. Ashley was “Sunshine”, I was Claire Danes and Kevin was Bad Ass. His name stuck. During our reunion conversations, Kevin and I were trying to think of what we could bring back from the days of yesteryear. He mentioned tooled leather belts and I knew I had an idea of what to get him for his 30th birthday in October. Behold: Kevin and his belt. So far Kevin has worn his belt to every Dinner Club gathering we have had since the reunion. (It is hard to see in the picture but the belt also features flying ducks on either side of the words…yes, it is very classy.)